My problem with Thanks

Rant Alert

So, one of polite words that  everyone is taught from their childhood days is thanks (the other one being sorry if you are wondering).

We are taught to thank anyone who has helped you in any way. It is a way to show appreciation and be polite to people so that they do not think that their deed is taken for granted. Which is exactly what people do these days for some reason. How many times have you heard some one bicker about the time they helped someone and did not even get a thanks in return? It is definitely more than zero times for sure.

The problem I have with thanks - like sorry - is that it is an empty gesture. You do not really have to be appreciative to utter those words. You are conditioned to say them, irrespective. So lets take a look at things from both sides of the conversation.

Lets say that you were the one in the position to help someone. There are only two reasons (there might be more, but I will concentrate on a limited set to not stretch this any further than I already have) which would help you justify it (not that you need to, just that most of humanity wants to be able to justify their actions)

The  first one is you are doing that just because you want to, you can add to it stuff like you care, or that people deserve help, or any other altruistic excuse, but at the end of the day, you are doing so, because you want to, and the important factor here will be, doing it does not affect you negatively. So, you do it, and you have no expectations of getting something in return.  You do not care if you do or do not get a thanks back, and you would rather see how your help changed someone's day/life rather than get an insincere thanks.

The second one is treating the help as a favor which will be returned back to you. It might be something as simple as an IOU, or complicated  stuff like, "I did good, so someone else will do good to me", or something like "this adds points to my profile which will later on be redeemed to get entry into that fancy place that everyone seems to want to go to, but no one really knows how to get there" ( I know the last statement is a bit toxic, but then, offense is taken not given). If you fall in this category, you might give away every thing you have, even your life at some point (I have heard stories), but then you do not need a thanks either as you are either getting a real IOU, or you have made your peace that the good you did is going to return back to you.

Lets say you are in the position of someone who is receiving help and even here, there are generally you might fall into two kinds.

(I know, moving from second person to third person in the next part sounds weird but I am not writing this for a competition anyways)
The first kind is one who thinks that they do not deserve help and are very appreciative of it. They might not have the resources to give anything in return, but they will always remember people who they received help from and will run to their aid whenever they can (perhaps this is one more reason why someone can help other huh). Such a person will not say a simple thanks and forget about things but would rather use real words (or actions) to express their gratitude and willingness to do everything in their power now and in the future to repay the kindness that was bestowed upon them. So, thanks does not make sense for this person either.

The second kind is the entitled one who believes the world revolves around them and they deserve anything and everything in the world including all the help they are getting. They are not appreciative of the help or kindness and take it for granted. These are the kind who might even normally not say thanks if not for the years of conditioning in school and society in general. The thanks uttered is a hollow, meaningless and does a disservice to everyone involved (as the entitled person does not mean it, and saying it does not keep them true to their life choices, and the person hearing it, knows that it means nothing and is just a mandatory gesture of sorts).

So, to summarize, lets stop with saying thanks just because we have to, and be more expressive and articulate the appreciation that we have better, hopefully using more words.
"I appreciate you reading this article till the very end. Would love to discuss your views on this"

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